I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
