Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
