Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
