have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
