That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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