i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
