never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You were trust falling into bushes
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
