Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
