your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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