i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
