an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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