Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
where are you?
Hypothermia
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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