A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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