are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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