The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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