I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
