so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
