I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
