do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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