I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Pooping to opera.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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