Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
