I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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