Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize