He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
