Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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