Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
