I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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