apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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