WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
