you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
