I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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