I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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