I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
