...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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