i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
