I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
