i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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