Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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