To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
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