after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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