i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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