Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize
