Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
