i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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