OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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