i just sent this text using only my big toe
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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