You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
