Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
