We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
