i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
