just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
