Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
