i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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