So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
