I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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