Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
